| We recently interviewed a successful youth sports | | | | On a more harmful level, parents tell their kids that they |
| coach about one of his biggest challenges. He told us | | | | played badly. Out of frustration, parents sometimes |
| how to help parents understand what to say to young | | | | even suggest to kids they should consider giving up |
| athletes during the trip home after a game. | | | | the sport. |
| Coach Brian Gardner of St. Louis, Missouri has | | | | Coach Gardner suggests that this behavior, while |
| coached ice hockey for 10 years. He even led one | | | | well-meaning, is counter-productive to his efforts and |
| team of 11 to 12-year-olds to a national championship. | | | | not helpful for the players. |
| Some of Gardner's players' parents drive for as long | | | | So, what exactly is good communication with a young |
| as 1.5 hours to get their kids to the ice rink. "That's a | | | | athlete after a game? (As sports parents who have |
| long time for parents to be alone with their kids after a | | | | made lots of mistakes, we know this isn't an easy |
| game," says Gardner. "Especially if they spend that | | | | question.) |
| time talking about the players' performance, " Garner | | | | First of all, it's critical to support the coach, as we |
| continues. | | | | discuss in our new youth sports workbook/CD |
| "A lot of times, parents think more about their kids' | | | | program. You'll only confuse your child by disagreeing |
| success than the whole team, " says Gardner. The | | | | with the coach or offering counterproductive coaching. |
| result is that they give too much instruction, which can | | | | Second, you need to encourage your child as often as |
| undo Coach Gardner's lessons and coaching system. | | | | possible. Even if your athlete's team lost, you can find |
| "At the least harmful level, the parents second guess | | | | something positive to say about his or her attitude, |
| some of the systems we put in place, such as a | | | | effort or about two or three positive plays. As a |
| power play system. They say, 'You should do this, not | | | | sports parent, your goal is to build your child's |
| what Coach says,' " Gardner relates. | | | | confidence -not tear it down. |