Applause for the Jerk Drain!

The Hidden Benefit of Canada's continuing brain drain... He's been out of Canada for years now, ridding the
These days, Canadians often lament the brain drain.country of a thoroughly annoying person. This is the
There is a silver lining however. What about the jerksame guy who walks onto movie sets uninvited and
drain? With every Air Canada plane load of brainsgets paid to be an extra in the cocktail party shot.
departing Canadian shores, there are a gaggle of jerksSure he's interesting, but let's face it mom, dad, The
amongst them. In a drunken slur they demand, "Get meLaw Society; he's a jerk. I do love him though, oh there
another double honey!," on their flights to London,I go again, it's going all over my shoes! Wait...I'll get a
Tokyo, and Los Angeles. Good riddance I say! And Itissue. Okay I'm back. Where was I? Oh yah...
ask you, does Stats Canada keeps statistics on howTake the guy at the Thai beach hut resort, you know
many jerks are leaving Canada and annoying thosethe really cheap ones. At these resorts they charge
poor helpless foreign folks abroad? Are those stats innext to nothing for the hut, but hope you will eat and
English and French? Is the Canadian taxpayer savingdrink in their restaurant as that's how they make their
money due to the flow of jerks abroad? Are anymoney. Well, this jerk wasn't eating in the restaurant,
other countries exerting international pressure onand would only set foot in it to steal the sugars and
Canada to stem the repugnant tide of jerks enteringcreamers off the tables, then sneak back miserly to
their nations? I have met many jerks while abroad, andhis hut to make his instant soup and coffee. He also
I am proud to say that many have hailed from thestole the coconuts, another real no-no at beach
Great White North. It may be the cold, harsh winters, orresorts in general. This guy was the talk of the resort.
the rain of the coast, but we should be happy inMy brother, you remember him right? He asked
knowing that we produce a lot of jerks-- for export.discriminatingly, "What part of America is that guy
I in fact live abroad. Just ask my poor suffering wife offrom?" "Vancouver," was the reply. Yep, another one
9 years. "He's a jerk!" states Ikumi. There you have it.of Canada's finest.
I've been in Japan for over eleven years and I stillNo don't knock the jerk drain. The UN has proclaimed
butcher their language. My poor neighbours. I thinkCanada the most liveable nation on the planet for a
some of them avoid me in embarassment--FOR ME. Ifew years now. I think it may be because we are
always say Japanese is such a tough language torelatively jerk free as compared to say America. The
learn, but even my five year old can speak it betterother thing is, when Canadian Jerks Abroad, (The
than I. Guilty as charged, I'm a jerk.CJA) act like jerks in London or Paris, no one thinks
Take my brother--he's a lawyer. I could end it rightwe're Canadians! We can't even tarnish Canada's
there now couldn't I? Have you heard any good jokesimage correctly! "Go back to America!" is what we
lately?frequently hear. I never correct them!