| They are deadly, risk-taking sociopaths, and they only | | | | fine will be astronomical and there is no way that they |
| come out at night. | | | | would be eligible to attend traffic school. |
| They come in all different shapes and sizes; there is | | | | "Did you see that guy?" my son asks as a Night |
| no predicting what one of these deadly apparitions will | | | | Speeder flies by on the right at a clip easily exceeding |
| look like. | | | | 90 mph and then crosses over two lanes without |
| I have my own name for them, though. I call them | | | | signaling to cut in front of one of his speeding brethren |
| "Night Speeders". | | | | in the fast lane. |
| Night Speeders are so frightening; a simple traffic ticket | | | | Of course, I saw him. In between my hammering, |
| supported by a few hours of traffic school seems to | | | | nervous heartbeats, I saw him. |
| be grossly inadequate punishment. | | | | While Night Speeders might be mild-mannered, |
| My son looks me in the eye apprehensively as he | | | | cautious, law-abiding, traffic school fearing souls during |
| loads his hockey gear into the back of my vehicle. I | | | | the daylight hours, several hours after the sun goes |
| start the engine and begin heading towards the on | | | | down a heinous spontaneous alteration somehow |
| ramp. He knows what is about to happen. He holds his | | | | takes place. While I cannot vouch for any other |
| breath and involuntarily grasps the hand support. He | | | | physical transformations that might occur, I would be |
| knows that we are about to drive on the freeway | | | | willing to bet that their feet somehow become larger |
| after the 9:00 PM hour. | | | | and turn into lead. |
| As we pull in the number two lane, the first one flies by | | | | I have a theory as to why the Night Speeder |
| on my left. If I hadn't taken a second to look in my | | | | conversion occurs. I hypothesize there are many |
| side-view mirror, I no doubt would never have seen it | | | | people out there that have decided that since it is dark |
| coming. It races off into the distance within | | | | and they can't see the highway patrol, that the |
| nanoseconds. Moments later, another zooms by, then | | | | highway patrol can't see them. |
| another and another. | | | | And the traffic school programs are full of those Night |
| Night speeders don't get it. If they get cited for driving | | | | Speeders who subscribed to that theory, only to find |
| faster than 20 miles an hour over the speed limit, their | | | | out the hard way that they were wrong. |