| 1. Women have learned and are in the
| |
| | that the parent thinks is best and
|
| habit of being driven by the approval of
| |
| | disregard what the kid or teen wants.
|
| others. Most women allow the expectations
| |
| | Parents with this belief tie their sense
|
| of others to define them and therefore
| |
| | of purpose to their children's results or
|
| making the approval of others is
| |
| | who they become. This will steal your
|
| responsible for their happiness. This
| |
| | child's own sense of worth because he/she
|
| pattern gives others' the power to make
| |
| | will only feel good about themselves when
|
| and take your happiness at any time.
| |
| | they meet your standards and
|
| Approval seeking steals your happiness
| |
| | expectations. And quite frankly this is
|
| and doesn't allow you to ever get to know
| |
| | not the unconditional love your child
|
| yourself, your wants, your desires, or
| |
| | deserves. This is pushing your own agenda
|
| your needs. A total disconnect. Thus an
| |
| | on your kids. Children, teens, and young
|
| up and down roller-coaster of emotions.
| |
| | adults need some (increasing as they age)
|
| Not a pleasant way to live.
| |
| | space to figure out what they want and
|
| 2. Women their achievements define their
| |
| | what is important to them! Discover your
|
| value. This belief causes several
| |
| | own identity and allow your children to
|
| problems. When you believe that you are
| |
| | do the same. Anything else will push your
|
| defined by your achievements, you are
| |
| | children away emotionally as they grow
|
| unable to feel good about yourself or
| |
| | up. If you depend on your children's
|
| have strong self-esteem unless you are
| |
| | results (or your perception of what these
|
| accomplishing or producing which does not
| |
| | results "should" be) you will stay on the
|
| allow for down time, relaxation or free
| |
| | emotional roller-coaster!
|
| creativity. There is no room for you to
| |
| | 4. Women believe that their husbands are
|
| just be... you. You identify yourself as
| |
| | supposed to make them happy. Who of you
|
| results. This way of living allows for
| |
| | thought when you got married (if you are
|
| little or no joy, peace, or contentment
| |
| | married), or perhaps moved in with a
|
| because you are always looking for the
| |
| | significant other, that, "this person
|
| next way to achieve. This is very
| |
| | will make me so happy"? Or if you have
|
| different from healthy goal setting.
| |
| | experienced a divorce or a break-up, you
|
| Attaching your value to your achievements
| |
| | may have thought, "this person makes me
|
| will ensure that you will not exit your
| |
| | so unhappy". I am simplifying a bit, but
|
| emotional roller-coaster.
| |
| | the principal is true. The problem with
|
| 3. Women believe their children define
| |
| | this thinking is that if we allow people
|
| them. Holding this belief can be very
| |
| | to "make" us happy, then at any time that
|
| damaging for the parent and the child.
| |
| | person can "take" our happy. Only you are
|
| When parents (unconsciously) hold the
| |
| | responsible for your happiness. You must
|
| belief that their children define them or
| |
| | create or develop an inner knowing that
|
| give them value, they will act in a way
| |
| | you are completely loveable, worthy, and
|
| that pressures kids to perform at a
| |
| | valuable regardless of who is or isn't a
|
| standard they cannot match up to. Or
| |
| | part of our life!
|
| parents try to force kids to have goals
| |
| |
|
